Making America Great Again

Suppose for a minute or three that our President-in-Exile had managed to let those tourists with weapons through the metal detectors at the January 6th ‘rally’ and suppose the Secret Service had obeyed his instructions to take him to the Capitol to lead his troops to the halls of Congress to stop the certification of Joe Biden to replace him.  Seems okay, right?  Like he said, those folks with assault rifles, Glock pistols and body armor weren’t there to hurt him.  Not sure who they were planning to hurt, but not him.  Let his people through!

And imagine that Mr. T had reached the Capitol to be with his people, maybe even picked up a flagstaff and helped break through the barricades and windows, might even have used a few wrestling tricks from the days of World Wrestling Smackdowns and taken out a few of those pesky Capitol police.  Good video.  Might turn it into some reality TV programming.  Ads, residuals, spinoffs, if nothing else, great viewing late night between presidential tweets.  Dramatic shots of the President leading his troops up the stairs, backing up those guards, demanding to be allowed into the room where the electoral votes would be certified.  “Hell, no,” you can hear him shouting, “not on my watch!”  Half the hall might erupt into cheers, half the others protesting demurely.

And suppose, somewhere down the corridors leading to Mike Pence’s offices, the Proud Boys —don’t you love the name! — find the Vice President exiting his office for a more secure location.  Hang him, the crowd cries, hang him high!  Hopefully somewhere there’s a security camera or two, capturing the melee of curious tourists overwhelming the Secret Service, capturing the glee of those same tourists hurrying Mike out to the gallows outside where the noose had been erected and maybe even the last words of the soon-to-be-disgraced second in command before being hoisted up, the rope placed around his neck and then the kicking legs, the gargling in his throat, the screams from his family who had followed the mob outside.

Imagine this had actually happened.  Imagine they had hanged Mike Pence with television cameras eagerly documenting the event, transmitting the lynching to millions of viewers witnessing the assault on the Capitol.  Is it hard?  Is it imaginable?  And if the President, now self-declared as winner of the 2020 election, had stepped outside to marvel at the sight of a swinging Mike Pence dangling above his happy MAGA followers, gave an impromptu acceptance speech and in passing mentioned that Mike had gotten exactly what was coming to him, would the country, would the red hat folks and the ‘tourists’, would the Oath Keepers and the Stop the Steal believers, would they have cheered?

Who thinks we need to make America great again?  We’ve already done it….

 

 

 

 

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