My Dog Ate the Phone Records
If Donald J. Trump was a six year old kid, you’d take his pants down and paddle his fanny until he finally told you the truth. About anything…. Lately he’s been explaining his actions on January 6th. He wanted to walk to the Capitol with his minions, the ones he’d just exhorted to go down there and overturn the election, but gee, the meany men at the Secret Service just wouldn’t let him do it. No way, Mr. President, we won’t let you go out there. I guess the Secret Service ranks a degree or two higher than President of the United States is all I can figure.
So he has to go back to the White House and watch his MAGA true believers assault the Congress without their Leader, just watch it on his TV in the safety of his bedroom, probably yearning to be at the front of the mob, battering ram in hand, the General leading his troops into battle, not lounging in his bathroom with a can of diet pop and a bag of chips. But hey, he’s got a phone, he’s got twitter, he’s got the bully pulpit. It is, after all, the 21st century, not some Civil War battleground with General Grant on his horse directing the artillery fire, c’mon.
Lately there’s been a lot of commotion about the missing logs for those hours. Nixon had some missing too, but nowhere near so long and nowhere close to being as important. Alarmed aides and his kids tried to convince him to go public and stop the insurrection. Stop the insurrection? What were they thinking? This was exactly what he called for a few hours earlier. And if it weren’t for those high ranking Secret Service, he’d be down there, tall in the saddle. Besides, watching it on TV was almost like being there, after all, he was a reality TV star before he became a reality twitter President. Not all that much difference.
A lot of logs, archives, what have you, ended up, oddly enough at Mar-a-Lago which caused a fuss with the folks investigating the events prior and during January 6th. Trump claims not to have known they were taken down there, just probably tossed in by a White House maid with the half eaten bags of chips, the cases of diet pop and the non- disclosure agreements with half a dozen of his girl pals, nothing nefarious about it. If some seemed tampered with, well … maybe his dog ate them.
Meanwhile, back in reality, his aides are refusing to testify under subpoena, his backers are calling the whole investigation a witch hunt, the fair and balanced media folks are claiming the insurrection was nothing more than exuberant tourists. They’re all stonewalling in hopes the legislature will flip in the midterms and the investigation will be stopped. There are a lot of britches that ought to be pulled down and plenty of asses that need paddling. It would make great TV.
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Tags: Lies Lies Lies, Missing Trump Records, Trump on Jan. 6