Nuke the Hurricanes!
Our president recently stated, when asked why he didn’t attend the G-7 conference on climate, that he was the most environmental president ever. Like most endeavors of the man, he is far and away the most competent. The others at the conference took up donations for a paltry few million to fight the Brazilian rainforest fires, something the Brazilian prez pooh-poohed unless Macron apologized personally to him for previous slights. While world leaders throw sand in their playmates’ faces in the sandbox of world politics, our Environmental President tackles issues mano y mano, no need for alliances, no need for spending much money, no need for petty squabbles among former allies. No, cut right to the chase.
Take these pesky hurricanes. Right now there’s a tropical storm bearing down on Puerto Rico, the second hit after Hurricane Maria that pretty much devastated the island nation. Oh sure, he could have spent billions helping our own citizens rebuild, but … why bother when another one is going to smack them anyway? Heartless, you say? Not really. Because the Enviro-Man has a Plan. Not just any ordinary garden variety plan, a really Yuge plan.
Nuke em! You heard right, Mr. Timid. Drop a nukie egg right down the eye of those storms, blast those winds to smithereens. If you think for one New Yawk minute there’s time for environmental studies or computer simulations of what might happen when we detonate an atomic bomb in a swirling wind of 100 plus miles per hour, you don’t know our President. He’s got NO time for fake science, buddy. He’s given it plenty of consideration, you can bet your Greenpeace membership card on that. Drop it and see what happens, a real time experiment.
And Puerto Rico might be a good first drop. Sure don’t want to wait til it hits the Mar-a-Lago resort, a lot of billionaire guests wouldn’t care to be irradiated, I don’t care if it does bring the winds to heel.
Albert Einstein wasn’t afraid to drop the first atomic bomb. Because his big brain had done the calculations! And Donald Trump isn’t afraid for exactly the same reason. He understands the atom is our friend. And if you want to defend hurricanes as Acts of God or simply the whim of Mother Nature, be my guest. Even so, the Emviro-Prez has your back. Remember that when you’re voting next fall. Tree huggers aren’t going to stop hurricanes. Put that on your liberal little bumper sticker, why don’tcha? Better yet, try NUKE THE ‘CANE!
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Tags: Bomb the 'Canes, Taming Hurricanes with Nukes