The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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Some people never learn. I know … because I’m one of them. This past week, having vowed (once again) never to build another guitar or banjo after 10 attempts that resulted in a couple of ‘keepers’, some maybes and the rest just testimony to prove the old adage ‘if at first you don’t succeed, try try again’ a bogus aphorism as useful as Qanon logic.

When we built our palace up the hill, I tried to learn the art of drywalling. Buddies told me I’d eventually get the hang of it, keep going. A couple weeks later and not only didn’t I see improvement, the mud and the tape were worse than when I started. Patience, you see, isn’t’ a virtue in my book. Instead of drywall we put cedar floor to ceiling. I hope never to handle a piece of gypsum board again as long as I live.

So when I swore off luthiery, what did I do? No, I didn’t build a piano if that’s what you’re thinking. I built an instrument stand to put some of my half assed acoustic guitars and banjos on, but halfway into the first one I thought why not make a music stand too, kill two birds with one table saw.

You know, of course, the first one was a little less than the vision I had at the start. Okay, but nothing to write home about … so I modified a bit of the design and built a second one. Which, in some way better, some ways worse. Don’t ask me why, but yeah, you guessed it, I built yet another one, figuring mistakes made but lessons learned. Course, being a so-called artist, not a furniture factory, I redesigned every time, apparently for the challenge and obviously for the aggravation.

The third one was actually better than the first two, even though I rebuilt half the second. As the finishing is drying below me here in the shack, I’m promising myself to stop. You know building more instrument stands. Although … that piano sounds challenging.

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So okay, maybe you’re a little appalled at Texas these days, think maybe passing a law that bans abortions is too extreme and yeah, you’re upset with the Supreme Court that let what is basically an unconstitutional law stand until they get around to hearing the case. I understand, I really do. But … look at it a slightly different way. Maybe lobby your legislature to ban your favorite cause du jour. Say … oh, ban handguns. Maybe all guns. Then offer the citizens of your fair state a bounty for every now illegal firearm they snitch on. You like that? Sure, you’re now a deputy basically, and better, you get a reward for turning in your fellow countryman.

You think maybe the police ought to be defunded but others worry crime will ramp up? Not to worry. All of us will be cops now essentially. Not salaried, of course, but every crime you report, ka-ching ka-ching, one less cop you need on a city payroll, one less retirement fund, one less health care plan, no more sick days, no more vacation time. Defunding made E-Z. We’ll keep a few law enforcement folks on duty to pick up the identified miscreants, might even have to hire extra judges, but with all of us keeping a vigilant eye on our neighbors and friends, crime should end pretty quick.

Oh, I know, some states will probably require gun ownership. Some states will outlaw homosexuality again. Some will probably reinstate slavery. Churchgoing might become mandatory, probably just the Christian churches. But YOUR state will do YOUR bidding. It is, after all, called the United STATES of America, not just America, meaning, your state can do what it wants. Texas, thank God, thank its Christian God, is leading the way here. Remember the Alamo, y’all, and figure that now Davy Crockett would be able to turn Jim Bowie over to Santa Ana for a sizeable reward. Might actually have saved some lives in the end, not a total slaughter.

I’m certain that you, like myself, have a wish list of laws we’d like enacted. I’m pretty sure we could end Covid if we incarcerated, I mean sequestered, those folks who refused to get a vaccination. I’m thinking maybe 500 bucks a head for turning them in, a drop in the bucket compared to hospital costs. I’ve already ordered my Costco multi-camera surveillance kit that I’ll aim at the neighbors’ houses. I figure this could be steady income if we just make some of their activities I object to illegal. As they should be.

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I love a good hypocrite as much as the next fellow. Show me a man who hollers bloody murder about the damn guvmint, Big Brother, state overreach and I’ll show you a yahoo who wants laws that prevent minorities from voting, women from getting abortions, mandates against mask mandates and laws to keep history from being taught unless it toes the jingoist line. My favorite, and believe me, it’s hard to pick among all these, is the latest out of Texas that bans abortions after 6 weeks, a timeline that insures the woman hasn’t even realized she’s pregnant yet. Pregnancies from rape or incest, doesn’t matter to the Lone Star state.

And better … Texas wants your neighbor to do the snitching. Even offers up to 10,000 dollars for a successful private lawsuit to convict that woman, or anybody who might be helping her, in a court of law. In Orwell’s 1984 it was the neighbor and the friend who ratted out Winston, the luckless protagonist of the book. That would be true of Eastern Germany in the Cold War. Turn citizen against citizen. Who needs a camera in every house and apartment when your neighbor can keep an eye on your comings and goings. Not even Orwell imagined a reward bounty for this. Only Texas. And now, of course, the Supreme Court.

I guess these persons’ idea of freedom isn’t necessarily mine. These folks’ idea of democracy isn’t necessarily mine. I doubt the Taliban would pay a bounty as reward for informants, but they might. If they had the money. Texas, I’m guessing, would rather spend theirs on abortion rewards than health care or education. Give them a few more legislative sessions, after they’re done ramming through voter suppression laws, and they’ll probably make birth control pills a felony too. Use a condom, go to jail. Maybe charge the store that sold them with criminal charges too. And don’t forget the stockholders in the condom company. Possibly the stock exchange as well. If all else fails for these Texan Big Brothers, they just passed a law that lets you carry a handgun, concealed or open carry, without a license. Citizens can not only act as law enforcement, they can be their own judge and jury. Texas, the pro-life state. If you survive Covid.

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The Chinese government is worried about their impressionable young people. Decadence has spread from the West to their once secretive and sequestered society and the communists in charge see this as an existential threat. Video games for the kids can only be used three hours a week. In America that would cause rioting in the schools. Our precious small fry probably game more than three hours a day. You know, when they’re not on social media. Myself, I suspect the Chinese might be onto something, but hey, freedom means you’re welcome to addict yourself to video or Facebook or Qanon, your mind, your choice.

Now they want to ban effeminate sissy males from appearing on state approved television. What this means, exactly, is anybody’s guess. But I’m expecting an edict from on high to come down any day to ban macho women from the boob tube too. Don’t want those gaming deprived impressionable youth slipping into transgender mode. Not when the Sleeping Tiger is finally coming out of its millennia snooze. No sir, they need hot blooded males and gender approved females for the Silk Road future they envision, not some mincing Chinese samurai that look like Korean pop song idols wearing make-up and cross dressing, no telling if they’re male or female or something in between. Geez, what’s next, government sponsored sex changes?

Chairman Xi is flexing some he-man biceps these days, even mandated teaching his political philosophies in schools. That little red book of Mao, fuggetaboutit, there’s a new dictator in town, kids, the Chairman of Everything and he expects some respect, not some Western adolescent lip from drug addled brats spoiled by their decadent Netflix addicted parents. Spare the teachings, lose the child, something like that.

He wants Marxism taught from kindergarten to high school. Not sure how Karl would feel about the new and improved Chinese communism, maybe not what he had in mind, but if video games are the opiates of the masses now, he might approve cutting down on Resident Evil’s online viewing. A few more sequels and he might even let the populace practice religion an hour a week. Well, maybe not the Uighurs.

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