The Skeeter Daddle Diaries

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Since it’s a rainy day and I haven’t quite motivated from the morning’s lethargy, let’s rehash the day’s headlines, maybe find reasons to fire up while the coffee is percolating through my sluggish pathways. That arsonist kid blew himself up down in Austin. Good news there. Donald Trump brags he could beat old Joe Biden to a pulp in a fistfight. Nice to know our president has the Putin-esque mentality of a 10 year old punk. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg says he takes full responsibility for the Borg’s lack of data security. Course, he crossed his fingers. That fully automatic car that killed a woman on the side of the road had a human aboard who didn’t see her either. It happens. Jarod Kushner lied about rent controlled housing numbers to New York City in order to increase profits. No kidding? Putin won by a landslide in jolly olde Russia. Really?….

The Bomb Kid managed to blow up 5 bombs before the Authorities tracked him down. You might have been wondering, like me, how many people he would kill before the ATF, the FBI, the local police, the Texas Rangers and who knows how many other crimefighters pooled their vast resources to bring this nutcase to ground. And maybe, like me, you were stunned how quick they nailed him. Cameras at FedEx, cellphone pings, credit card information, security video at Home Depot, license plate on his vehicle … the boy didn’t get very far. We live in an extremely interconnected world of sticky digital webs. You want to go off the grid, good luck. Ted Kaczysnki slunk off to a cabin. The Barefoot Bandit never used a cellphone or a credit card. No cars. No vehicle licenses. No known addresses.

The rest of us, good luck if you want to be Anonymous. If you want to be Left Alone. If you want to be Individual. Mark Zuckerberg will tell you these are Thought Crimes. What have you got to hide??? Individualism is Anti-Social. The Collective is Happiness. ‘Friends’ are your Salvation. Your Cellphone is God. Information will set you Free!

I try to be optimistic in these strange times we live in, but hellfire, the news coming in at me feels more like shrapnel or those nails the Bomb Kid packed into his explosives. I don’t exactly feel like an innocent bystander, though, since I keep peeking at the headlines. Maybe the trick is to wean off, slowly at first, then, once the D.T. ‘s subside, turn off the computer. Just watch out for the self-driving car that could smack you by the mailbox!!!

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Grab a broom, y’all. We’re going witch hunting. I know, doesn’t seem sporting, doesn’t seem fair, the prey are such easy targets. They’ve laid down a trail a blind turkey hunter could follow in the rain. Tax records, graft, payoffs, porn star affairs, lies and misdemeanors, felonies and blatant nepotism, election tampering, bullying, name-calling just follow the latest tweet, you pretty much got the witch treed. That howling you hear isn’t the coon hounds baying, it’s the witch his screaming self. ‘Who would have thought that some little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness.’

These are dark times in Trump Tower, its gold logo looking smoke damaged and tilted. The T is falling off, leaving rump Tower as ironic icon. The hunter has become the prey, his attorneys are lawyering up like madmen, and the greasy little Giuliani has finally weaseled himself into the inner sanctum where men are chewed up and spit out faster than an Oscar Mayer wiener. Even the True Sycophants become sausage in a matter of weeks, sometimes days. Loyalty is a bad joke, it’s All for One and One for One. The rest, they’ll have a snarky nickname shortly.

The center cannot hold, as Yeats wrote, mere anarchy is loosed upon the world. The evangelicals may like this guy just for the reason that he may be the rough beast slouching toward Bethlehem to be born. There are plenty of folks who pray for Apocalypse, plenty who secretly want the pandemic or the Big One, lots of folks who see the End Times and rejoice. The Anti-Christ, they may be hoping in their dark hollow hearts, the One who brings Chaos to the world. Drain the Swamp! Pull down the Walls! A better day is Coming.

But there will be no Second Coming this go around. We will be having an exorcism, a witch trial, a great national cleansing, count on that. You want End Times, you’ll have to wait a little longer in your miserable sanctimony. This isn’t the One prophesied in Revelations, kids, this is the wicked witch of the west. The bucket of water is being readied, the monkey army of Republicans will cheer when it’s thrown and the witch is melted, we’ll all go back to the old partisan politics. History will sort this out later, plenty of new jobs there. But we will be rid of the Reign of Terror that will be Trump’s final legacy. Ding dong, the witch will be dead.

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